Instant personal loan

We cast our vote for the year's highs and lows in personal finance.

JAPAN ON A ROLL

Land of the Rising Stock

Investors in Japanese markets have finally been rewarded for their patience. With the Nikkei exchange up 27% through September 30, sector funds such as Fidelity Japan Small Companies and Warburg Japan Small Company have posted year-to-date returns in the neighborhood of 175%, bringing their three-year average returns to about 26% annualized.

But that may be small consolation for those investors who have hung on longest. Of the Japanese sector funds that have been around five years or more, most still have a five-year annualized return of less than 10%--despite this year's big price run-up.

FLOSS YOUR WAY TO WEALTH

Need a Loan? Smile!

To determine whether you're a good loan risk, perhaps your banker should look at your gums instead of your credit report. After examining the dental histories of 1,400 adults, researchers at the State University of New York at Buffalo and the University of Michigan concluded that stress over financial matters doubles the risk that you'll develop gum disease.

Writing in the July issue of the Journal of Periodontology, the scientists state that "of all the daily strains investigated, only financial strain was significantly associated with greater attachment loss and alveolar bone loss"--both signs of gum disease. The risk of severe periodontal disease was diminished, however, among those financially stressed individuals who had "adequate coping behaviors." So if your checkbook won't balance, just take a deep breath--and floss.

NO DEBIT ABOUT IT

And Click `Buy' When You Want to Sell?

Credit Charles Schwab & Co. with the head scratcher of the year. Last summer, customers with a Schwab One investment account received a statement stuffer touting the benefits of the account's Visa debit card. Included was this important tip: "When offered a `debit' or `credit' option at Visa locations, choose `credit' to make the purchase with your Schwab One Visa debit card."

Huh? No, it wasn't a misprint, and, yes, there is an explanation. Schwab's card is an "offline" debit card, which means you authorize a transaction by signing a receipt (as you would with a credit card) and the money leaves your account within a couple of days. Instead of entering your personal identification number, which provides a vendor instant access to your account, you press "credit" to get the receipt.

Got that? Give yourself credit.

PIKACHU EVOLVES

This Pokemon Play Paid Off

Kids who wheel and deal in Pokemon cards--the trading-card craze featuring Japanese "pocket monsters" who star in their own TV series, video games and now a movie--consider themselves lucky if they land a coveted Charizard, valued at $30 or more. But even a first-edition Charizard pales in comparison with the money you could have made by getting in on the ground floor of 4Kids Entertainment (KIDE, Nasdaq), the company that holds exclusive licensing rights for Pokemon merchandise outside of Asia. If you had invested $1,000 in the stock at its low of 96 cents per share on October 8, 1998, your stake would have grown to more than $39,000 when the share price hit $37.75 on September 9.

GETTING OFF THE GROUND

This IPO Grew Faster Than Jack's Beanstalk ...

Brocade Communications' stock shot up from $19 to $209 a share in its first four months of trading--a return of 1,003% that made it the best-performing IPO through the third quarter of the year. Brocade (symbol BRCD, Nasdaq, recent price $230) is the leading manufacturer of what are called fibre channel switches, which help companies manage vast amounts of data more efficiently. "We were surprised at how fast the investment community understood the potential of our company," says Mike Byrd, Brocade's chief financial officer.

While This One Toppled

Insurance Management Solutions Group (INMG, Nasdaq) sank from its offer price of $11 a share in February to $3 on September 30, a 73% loss. When property insurers want to outsource administration of claims, they turn to companies like Insurance Management, which specializes in the flood-insurance market. The company also earns fees from mortgage lenders for assessing whether properties lie in a flood zone, and earnings had receded as mortgage refinancings slowed.

NO ROTTEN EGGS YET

Banks Draw Cheers, Jeers and Customer Sneers

In an effort to repair their tarnished public image, some financial institutions actually went out of their way to be nice to their customers this year. PNC Bank pays its depositors $5 if they have to wait in a teller line for more than seven minutes, or if they must call more than once to resolve a problem. And Schwab began offering its best customers a cash-management account, called Schwab Access, that includes free checking and ATM use, rebates on ATM surcharges, overdraft protection and money-market yields on idle funds.

But other banks never learn. A couple of low points in this year's deluge of high bank fees: Providian National Bank levied a 5% cash-advance fee on its Aria Visa Persona card (on top of an interest rate of 23.99%). And Bank of America and First Union initiated a $10 fee if you want to close an account.

Mad as heck, some customers decided not to take it anymore. When National City Bank in Pittsburgh imposed a $2 fee for deposit slips, customers practically rioted. "Enraged depositors were screaming and throwing things at stunned tellers," the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported. Within weeks, the bank ditched the fee.

MILLIONAIRE MANIA

What Next, "Queen for a Day"?

You might have been a millionaire if you had known which group won the first Grammy award for Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance on February 22, 1989--Metallica, AC/DC, Living Colour or Jethro Tull.

That was the lone million-dollar question during the two-week summer debut of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? on ABC. Hosted by Regis Philbin, the program--a kind of $64,000 Question adjusted for inflation--turned out to be wildly popular, attracting a total of 115 million viewers during its two-week run, and it looks like it will ignite a game-show revival on prime-time TV.

Aside from ABC and its parent company, Disney, the big winner during the show's debut was Richmond, Va., lawyer Michael Shutterly, who answered 14 questions correctly to earn $500,000. But he wisely declined to venture a guess at the million-dollar stumper above. The correct answer, Jethro Tull, came as a surprise to those who know that Tull is neither a hard-rock nor a heavy-metal band.

REVENGE OF THE CUBE DWELLERS

Groovy! Dilbert's Visa Rules

First USA's Austin Powers Titanium Visa has a shagadelic look. MBNA's Elvis Presley Visa generates contributions to charity and provides discounts at Graceland and Heartbreak Hotel. But our vote for the niftiest vanity card of the year goes to NextCard's Dilbert Visa.

The card is pitched to "cube dwellers who choose Internet technology over paper bureaucracy," says Richard Goebel, NextCard's director of business development. You have to apply for the card online, at www.dilbert.com. If you also elect to get your statement and pay online, you're rewarded with a "reverse fee"--a credit of 50 cents a month. And the card has no annual fee and no late or overlimit charges.

Best of all in our opinion, you can design your own card, with a picture of Dilbert, the pointy-haired boss, Dogbert or Catbert, and give yourself a title, such as "King of My Cubicle," "Evil Director of Human Resources" or "Supreme Ruler." Take that, Dr. Evil.

CROOKED-GAVEL AWARDS

It's the American Way: Do Something Stupid, Then Sue Someone

First, Cynthia Haines of Marin County, Cal., gambled online and charged her wagers to her credit cards. After she lost more than $70,000, she sued Visa, Mastercard and Providian Financial Corp., arguing that she shouldn't have to pay her debts. Her rationale: Because online gambling is illegal in California, she shouldn't have been allowed to use the cards in the first place.

Then there was Lee Williams of Southfield, Mich., who sued an area tattoo parlor, Eternal Tattoos, for branding him a "villian." Neither Williams nor the tattoo artist was sure how to spell the word "villain," and Williams didn't realize the misspelling until a friend teased him about it afterward. He subsequently spent $1,900 to have the tattoo removed and is seeking $25,000 in damages.

We suggest a further award of two dictionaries--one for Williams and the other for his attorney, who referred to the defendant as "Enternal Tattoos" throughout court documents.

STRANGER THAN FICTION

Hey, Boo Boo, I Think I Smell a Pick-a-Nick Basket

The U.S. Department of Energy has developed a technology that turns used french-fries oil into environmentally friendly diesel fuel. The National Park Service considered using the biodiesel fuel for tour buses, but changed its mind because the odor might attract bears. When burned, biodiesel smells just like chicken.