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SERVICE | How to make the RITUAL OF TIPPING not just a reflex, but a way to get better service.

CRAFTY maitre d's manning the entrances to Las Vegas nightclubs used to resort to a ruse for lining their pockets: As patrons stood at the door, the first person in line would pull out a crisp twenty, noisily snap and fold the bill, and in a grand, ostentatious gesture tip the maitre d' on the way in. "The rest of the people in line would follow like lemmings," says Adam Carmer, a maitre d' at Kokomo's, a steak and seafood restaurant at the Mirage Casino Hotel in Las Vegas. "They'd see the first person tip and think, `I guess I should do it, too.'" What the suckers, uh, onlookers didn't know was that the big tipper was a buddy of the maitre d', and that the handsome gratuity had been carefully staged to persuade others to follow suit.

Those maitre d's understood tipping psychology and used it to play their customers as smoothly as the lounge singer inside crooned Misty. "Ask people why they tip, and they'll say it's to reward good service," says Michael Lynn, a psychologist and professor at Cornell University's Hotel School. "But mostly, people tip because of social pressure."

Lynn's research found that a measly 2% of a restaurant server's tip reflected the quality of service. Most people left a flat percentage of the total check as a tip no matter what the service was like. The pressure to tip is so strong that tipping has become little more than a reflex action, with people usually tipping whatever the social norm dictates, says Temple University psychology professor Bruce Rind.

While most research has been conducted in restaurants, people often tip automatically in other settings, too, without considering how they could leverage their tips. Instead of viewing a tip as an obligation or a reward, think of it as an investment, suggests Joel Widzer, author of the Penny Pincher's Passport to Luxury Travel: The Art of Cultivating Preferred Customer Status. Tip the right person well and that investment will pay dividends in the form of preferential treatment. Suddenly, the desk clerk at a crowded beachside resort can upgrade your cramped room overlooking the Dumpsters to a suite with an ocean view. Tip the wrong person, leave a stingy tip, or come across as a palm-greasing extortionist and the gesture can torpedo your chances for getting any service, let alone that reserved for VIPs. "Tipping is a pretty delicate issue," says Widzer. Because each party wants something from the other, he says, "there's a lot of gamesmanship."

Slaves to culture

TIPPING IS also an American thing to do, as much a part of our culture as baseball and the Stars and Stripes. As a nation, we tip more occupations--33 in all (from shoeshiner to casino croupier)--than any other country. By comparison, New Zealanders tip just three jobs: waiter, cab driver and tour guide.

And good economic times have loosened our wallets so that we tip more generously than ever. Nationally, the average restaurant server's tip is nearly 18%, according to a recent Zagat survey, with many people reporting that they usually tip at least 20%. Bostonians, usually models of Yankee thrift, are either the best tippers or the biggest liars in the country, with 55% of them claiming that they regularly tip servers 20% or more. Only 37% of the cheapskates in Los Angeles say they tip that generously on a regular basis.

Still, faced with abysmal service, most diners reserve the right to stiff a server. But unless you're prepared for the server to ambush you at the door, says etiquette expert Peggy Newfield, speak with the manager first and then leave only 10%.

If you don't tip, don't plan on dining in that restaurant again because servers have their own methods for exacting revenge against stingy patrons who return, says Debra Ginsberg, a former waitress and author of Waiting: The True Confessions of a Waitress. Ginsberg, who has waited tables in greasy diners and exclusive clubs, has seen angry servers in restaurant kitchens retrieve bread out of a garbage bin to serve to a customer or deliberately drop food on the floor before plopping it on a plate. Some patrons who don't tip are automatically given special dispensation, such as senior citizens on a fixed income. Those people, says Ginsberg, are a waiter's pro-bono cases.

VIP treatment

WHY ALL THE FUSS over a tip? In many states, restaurants may pay their servers less than minimum wage because they earn tips. Even people who work in other service-industry jobs, such as hotel personnel, depend on tips for a major part of their income.

What often works best is to subtly promise a good tip in exchange for a specific favor. Widzer does this when he travels, and sometimes the results astound him. Once, while making a hotel reservation over the phone for a trip to Puerto Rico, Widzer told the desk clerk that he appreciates good service and shows it. When Widzer arrived several days later, he had been given an upgraded room, ten free passes to use the hotel's golf course, two free passes for breakfast, and a bottle of champagne. In exchange for tipping the desk clerk $100, Widzer estimates he got more than $1,200 worth of VIP treatment.

Like any investment, tipping is all about timing. Usually, Widzer inquires about room upgrades when he first arrives at a hotel. He says the best technique is to take out money as if you were offering a tip but not hand it over until the employee has fulfilled his or her end of the bargain. (And you must deliver on your promise of a good tip once you've received the service.) Be specific about what you would like, such as a room with a view, but don't demand it.

At hotels, Widzer prefers to tip the bellhop rather than the concierge, who is tipped more often and is less likely to reciprocate by granting you special favors. "The bellhop has connections with the maitre d' and the front-desk people," he says. But a maid, housekeeper or parking valet may be equally worthy. After tipping the person generously when he first arrives, Widzer scales back his tips to more standard amounts during his stay.

Some favors--getting a table at a popular restaurant without a reservation, for example--can't be bought unless you've tipped the maitre d' on a previous visit. For future preferential treatment, try slipping the maitre d' $10 or $20 on your way out, but stop to introduce yourself and chat with him so that you'll be remembered.

When it comes time for the cash to switch hands, "don't just take out a wad of money and say, `Here, buddy,'" says Widzer. Polished tippers are so discreet that only the recipient notices the money changing hands. Carmer, the Las Vegas maitre d', suggests folding the bills widthwise in half and then folding them again to form a slim rectangle that fits perfectly in your palm. As you shake hands with the person you're tipping, he or she will take the bills from you. If that's not your style, just thank the person warmly as you tip them.

Season of cheer

DURING THE holidays, you should tip people who regularly perform a service for you, such as a babysitter or doorman, says etiquette expert Stephanie Horton. Besides occasionally leaving special treats (cheese or a bottle of wine) for her maid service, Horton also tipped each person $40 at Christmas. For the five years she had the service, the company never raised rates for her, a gesture she attributes to tipping. As a holiday tip, Horton recommends an amount at least equal to what the service usually costs; for outstanding service, tip the equivalent of one month's fees.

If you're uncomfortable tipping, offer to write a glowing letter to the person's supervisor. When raises or promotions are handed out, that letter may be worth more than a cash tip. But don't try that approach in a restaurant. Ginsberg has no patience with patrons who "get really effusive and start singing praises in a Hallmark kind of way." Her advice? "Say it with cash."

--Reporter: JOSEPHINE ROSSI